Poetic Side: Response to Osundare’s “My Lord, Tell Me Where To Keep Your Bribe”

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Harken, Corrupt Bearer of Judicial Graft and Boodle

1.

Ambitious litigant,

Bearer of judicial graft and boodle

Do not keep my bribe in the glare of my chambers

Or my pitch-white immaculate mansion,

Now stinking of anti-graft suspicion.

Keep it in the depth of the hole with the viper,

In the dungeon of the snake-headed Gordon.

My capacious water tank

My well laundered backyard

My lucre-consuming septic tank

Can all not escape the scrutiny of Argus Panoptes

Whose sleepless eyes often haunt my dreams.

 

2.

Ambitious litigant,

Bearer of judicial graft and boodle

 

Do not keep my bribe in the sanctum of my attic

Or my termite-threatened lofty roof

Whose days are numbered like the exploits in my office.

Keep it in the Cave of the Seven Sleepers—Ashabul Kahf,

And let it take its course for 300 years.

 

My conjured walls that have encapsulated my ill-gotten bounty

My precious paramours that have hidden my swelling county

My maidservants that have held for me to save our unity,

Can all not escape the scrutiny of Argus Panoptes

Whose sleepless eyes often haunt my dreams.

 

3.

Ambitious litigant,

Bearer of judicial graft and boodle

 

Do not keep my bribe in some poverty-stricken village

Or the valley behind seven mountains

Whose depth is too shallow to swallow my wanton kickbacks.

Keep it with Hades in the bottom of the flame

Or in the fiery mouth of Olukoso Obakoso.*

 

My bankers’ bill counter’s fastness

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My bankers’ bosses’ degree and pedigree

My bankers’ steadfastness and willingness to shield numbers

Can all not escape the scrutiny of Argus Panoptes

Whose sleepless eyes often haunt my dreams.

 

My most ambitious litigant,

Corrupt bearer of judicial graft and boodle

Buyer of the Bench and the conniving Bar

Fellow contributor to our sinking Themis—

Please give ear and hearken.

  • Bolaji St.Ramos

28/10/2016

* The god of thunder in Yoruba mythology who had the ability to expectorate fire.

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