My Grouse: While the CJN Saga Rages On…


My only New Year resolution is that I will be doing what everybody is doing! I am tired of being a spectator. I cannot come and finish existing in this part of the world that is like this as an onlooker. It is not going to be a good ending. On this note, I cannot come and carry last in this frenzy analysis of this epic CJN brouhaha. That will be against my New Year resolution. But, jezz, since everyone has become analysts, they have finished analyzing everything. So, I said to my brilliant mind, let us analyze the analysis, all of them.

That one ancestor that has been trying to save every troubled person has just reminded me that about five orders have been granted ex-parte to stop CCT from continuing with this sacrilegious sacrilege. Five ex-parte orders all saying one thing. It is remaining for lawyers to be asking themselves; “o boy, have you collected your own ex-parte on behalf of the CJN?” Who are all these people collecting these injunctions like this? What do they say to the judges? For once in my life I have seen injunction flying up and down like non-essential commodity. Abi no be ex-parte injunction again? Na wa o!

And what is all these shout up and down about follow rule of law, obey rule of law. Okay, let us analyze that one too. Somebody came to you and stood as tall as a building, shoulder, neck, head high and told you how he is going to kill rule of law as at when necessary. What did you do?  Did you not sing national anthem and dismissed. So, after pre-informing you and you kept quiet, it is when he sees national interest and decides to suspend rule of law and due process that you are awake. Did the man not tell you that Rule of Law can be suspended? Okay, when he said that to you, were you hypnotized? Have you seen your lives outside? He said and I quote (not verbatim sha) “National interest comes over and above rule of law” was that not what you were told and you were all clapping? Was your condemnation not an afterthought? Now there is national interest that the rule of law has to be suspended and you are all shouting. Abi, threat to second term bid is not national interest? Sit down there! Make I hear rule of law and due process again!

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Okay, let us assume that we all had a moment of slip together. The deed was done. How do we remedy it? It is not me the small great grandchild that will come and lead the way when there are gods and ancestors. So let us analyze how we are all trying to remedy the situation.

I start with my constituent. We make plenty noise. In fact we fight and sometimes forget what started the fight. We have plenty outstanding fight that keep interfering with our collective thought process. Like now, we can start arguing about the Justice Onnoghen’s arraignment and end it with how Paul Usoro SAN rigged the election to become NBA President or how Justice Oke has changed the Civil Procedure to take justice out of the poor masses reach. Our fight is never coordinated and we like it like that. Unfortunately, we are the most useless for this struggle and we are in the majority. All we do is make noise and disturb the peace and tranquility of everybody.  Forming ginger on social media alone. That na the only thing we know! Awa ni e!

E nhe! BOSAN said something few days ago abi? What was it they said self? I really cannot remember. What did they decide about this issue? I am sure President Buhari cannot also remember, Femi Adesina and Lie Muhammed cannot even understand those legalise. Then they were even reporting that the BOSAN were divided among themselves on what to do. In the end, they stood in the middle. Let the son of light not disturb the son of darkness and vice versa. Who communique epp?

NBA my dear NBA! There has been two powerful statements. Case is still proceeding. The summary of the powerful statements: Hey you there! Federal Government, we’re talking to you, stop! Stop it o! we are not joking o! we did not come to your side, so stay on your lane o! Ok, see enh, we implore and advise you to stay on your lane, stop this desecration, are you alright? yen yen yen!  End of summary. This one pain one brother like that and he went on a venting spree! Hear him:

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“On CJN, I really don’t know what to say. I am sad, worried and angry. The combination of the three is a  complex feeling. As ministers in the temple of justice, we have collectively become children of convenience. We have become so selfish that we choose when we want “real sex” and when we prefer to “masturbate”. 1. When Justices of the Supreme Court where embarrassed under the guise of ” fighting corruption”, we collectively chose the convenient arguments. No action. 2. When Mazi was prevented from contesting in the last NBA General Elections, we collectively chose the convenient arguments. No action. 3. Zakizaki and Dasuki has remained in custody despite several court orders that they be released, we collectively chose the convenient arguments. No action. 4. Paul is facing criminal charges over allegations that he didn’t question his client before receiving his labour’s worth, we collectively chose the convenient arguments. No action. 5. Our colleagues are daily molested by police officers because they dare challenge impunity, on those occasions, we collectively chose the convenient arguments. No action. 6. The executive flagrantly disobeys court orders and act as though we are in a military regime headed by men and women in African attires. In those instances, we collectively chose the convenient arguments. No action. 7. Come Monday, the CJN would be arraigned and heaven would not fall. As usual, we would collectively chose the convenient arguments and there would be no action.”

Bros, calm down! This one too na long turanci. You have joined bad gang. Na only talk?

But wait o, I am forgetting some people faa. These individual are the greatest disaster of our profession o. See, na them una go hold las las. Ok now, like that Prof SAN, he has been there minding his business. Sharing N10k to traders and forming interpreter while this desecration is happening, Ancestor and sage nko? That one, me, I don’t know self, whether he has followed to be suffering this “hear and distort syndrome” or he has reached climax and is now on diminishing return. It has reach to have him speak to some private audience before going public. He has turned all known principles of law upside and down. And what about the  Chief Law officer. He  is busy doing his government work. Shebi he is the one that is even throwing the master stroke, I can excuse him. He has to not only work but be seen as working. I excuse him. Then there is this little kid in the block o! Hian that one was admitted to the board of ancestors recently. Has he finished celebrating birthday letter from President Buhari? These things don’t concern him. He has a mandate to deliver and all these are working together to make his job less strenuous. If na you nko?

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Our sympathizers are the ones that are now amusing me. Not like they are not also trying to satisfy their selfish interest. But those ones are just in a class. Some of them are busy carrying both fake and authentic news. That is how FFK will be saying “I saw EFCC, ok, I made a mistake, it’s not them! Ish! But we thank them still.

In all of these, the FG is deaf and dumb! Repeat? Deaf and dumb why? National Interest is in issue here. Rule of Law, Due Process, and Judicial Process all suspended!

Me, I am here thanking God for the opportunity to have done this brilliant analysis and if you think this is not the best analysis of the situation, you are on a looooooong thing!

How on earth did I find myself here?

Confusion Everywhere!


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