1. The Tourist
These kind of lawyers came to the conference simply because they want to visit new places. Since their arrival, they have been going from Elegushi beach to Fela’s shrine. They do not even know the colour of the interiors of the sessions’ venues.
2. The Bookworms.
They attend all sessions and pay rapt attention like they will be tested on them. I saw someone writing notes too. (old habits die hard, yeah?). These people are what an average conferee should aspire to be.
3. The Shopaholics.
Since some people heard that the 59th AGC was in Lagos, they have been having a mental picture of how much shopping they are going to do. Balogun, Jankara and Yaba markets have seen the best of their conference days.
4. The “connecticuts”
These are “sharp guys” whose primary purpose is to make new friends and establish new professional relationships. They are at every session seeking a minute audience with the big boys of the legal profession. It can be rewarding sha, cos they usually go home with a bagfull of complimentary cards.
5. The Wolves
These ones are the worst of the pack. Some of them came to Lagos with their “conference materials”. Some others go “shopping” when they arrive. The story is also being said of some principals who refuse to book separate hotel rooms for the female juniors they brought to conference. Preying on the poor girls has become their hobby. Don’t be like them.
6. The Slayonces.
These are mainly comprising of the female folks. The slay mommas and company. Conference is the place to wear that kimono and the shortest possible gowns they have always wanted to rock. Their eyelashes could sweep Eko Hotels clean. You can almost hear the ko-ka-ko-ing of their heels from Ikorodu. This class, not surprisingly, cuts across ALL ages.
7. The fishingnets
Instead of these ones to be drinking water like the typical ones, they are soaked in liquor. They attended all their sessions at the “Friendship centre”. Demolishing green, brown and cans. A fraction of them get so high that their voices is the loudest in the Ambode BRTs. They need our prayers.
8. The Tifun(s)
These ones were saddened at first by the new introduction of meal tickets for lunch, as against the open day that held sway. They didn’t miss any of the lunches provided. They hustled tickets from those who left the conference early too.
9. The To-fulfill-all-righteousness
This group is populated mostly by lawyers in government ministries and agencies and some other legal officers in paid employment. They have taken fat allowances from their organizations for attending, hence the need to show face. They are usually snapping pictures 90% of the time so as to adduce sufficient evidence of attendance. All their pictures are with the banners, for effect. Nah dem!!
10. The Strangers
They are in very short supply. They wear agbada/jalabia everywhere. Beach, swimming pool, inclusive. The smile on their faces show that they are thoroughly enjoying themselves. Some of them came with their spouses. They mind their businesses and interact with only a few people. You will hardly know they are at the conference, till you ask of them. Glad tidings to the strangers.
11. The Photo-jonos
These ones snap pictures like their lives depended on it. Always seeking out people to take pictures of them with any dignitary in sight. All they care about is the gram and snaps.
12. The Rest of Us.
We are overjoyed to see old friends again. Made new ones. Enjoy the sessions (the ones we can attend). Looking forward to the next conference already.
Feel free to add your own please.😊
©A. A. Badmos
