Poetic Side: Typology of the Cold Room – Bolaji Ramos

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There are four laws
That govern the Cold Room!
Four categories of participants
That patronize the Cold Room!
Four classes of commentators
That comment on the Cold Room!
And when the bubbles have bounced and burst,
There’s often one-alone that stands cursed and curst!

Two consenting parties
On a lustful adventurous charter party.
The one is as old as dirty old cronies
The other a stunning lassie—flat-chested or busty.
There were offer, acceptance and consideration,
With no vitiating elements to ground this conjunction.
Drinks…winks…tapped and rapped,
This is of Law of Contract or Commercial transactions!

Two consenting parties
On a make-out, trial-and-error party.
The one, older, is as determined as masculine bullies
The other a player-belle, tricky and arty.
The one took advantage of the other’s artiness
To forcefully tap, taste or tangle her saltiness.
Hunger…anger… bights and fights,
This, I suppose, is of Law of Crimes or Torts!

There are four laws
That govern the Cold Room—
Law of Contract
Law of Torts
Law of Crimes, and
Law of Commercial Transactions!

There are four categories of participants
That patronize the Cold Room—
A masculinist active
A feminist passive
A masculinist passive, and
A feminist active!

There are four classes of commentators
That comment on the Cold Room—
A masculinist patriarchist
A Saphoist feminist
A rationalist, and
An irrationalist!

And when the bubbles have bounced and burst,
There’s often one-alone that stands cursed and curst!
The laws in their limping sentiments blame the one!
Saphoist feminists often blame the one!
Unrepentant irrationalists often blame the one!
The one is immediately nailed to damnation,
And the other, a possible conspirator, becomes a heroine!

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–Bolaji S. Ramos
29th February, 2020.
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