Court of Appeal Justice, Eberechi Suzzette Nyesom-Wike has penned down a heartwarming and inspiring tribute to her father on his 83rd birthday.
The tribute is a beautiful expression of love, respect, and appreciation for a remarkable father, and it serves as a reminder of the significance of fatherhood and the impact fathers have on their children’s lives.
Read the tribute below:
A TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER AS HE TURNS 83 YEARS RIPER.
As this month of August rolled in, exactly on the 1st day thereof, I happened to be with my youngest brother, Eze. We discussed the month, being that of the birth of our Father. I’d mentioned that since he’s turning “83 years riper” (I detest using the word “old”), we needn’t have an elaborate celebration until his 85th birthday. My brother impulsively disagreed with me. He said that once someone has lived beyond 70 years, any additional year is a reason for celebration. I was dumbstruck and had no points to raise in argument!
Thus, I decided to do this little piece, in addition to the usual celebration activity for our Father as I see the need to thank him for his love , attention and service in raising his children, especially when he was much younger. I realize now that not everyone is this privileged and would state here that if this is the case, one must work doubly harder to learn from the books and observing other successful parents, in order to impart on their children, to make up for lost time. Such service can be deeply fulfilling. As Laura Schlessinger puts it, “Children are our second chance to have a great parent-child relationship.“.
I have always maintained that there are 2 virtues every parent must instill in their child(ren) to set them up for their future success in life:
- Teach your child the love, fear and respect for God and with that, the love for people and the difference and choice between good and evil, right and wrong, light and darkness (GODLINESS); and
- Instill in them discipline and the hunger for learning, teach them the benefits of having a very curious mind, the need to continually reinvent themselves to daily be better persons and to constantly stimulate themselves, intellectually (EDUCATION).
My Father is a Man of Class, very suave and steady, honest, responsible, respectable, decent and of great moral character. A member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church. I recall listening to him singing in his deep bass voice, hymns and choruses in the morning as he showered, before setting out for work. He would spray/bath himself in masculine perfumes from his hair downwards, such that as he goes out through the front door to get into his car, I could sniff him from outside, behind our home. Perhaps, this is the origin for my great love for perfumes and good scents!
He worked hard in his medical practice and was very philanthropic in granting free medical services to indigent patients as well as educational opportunities and scholarships to intelligent children of indigent persons. At all times, our home was filled with many youth that lived with us for short and long terms while attending different levels of schools. It was in this process that I learnt to cook only in large quantities. Someone I know would rather say “big pots”!
My father has a strong voice but is very soft spoken, kind, understanding, patient and slow to anger but if and when he does get offended, you wouldn’t want to be around him as you would hear and feel the strength of his voice!
He would always recite inspirational poems and wise sayings to us, his children, his favorite being that by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow thus:
“The heights by great men reached and kept,
were not attained by sudden flight,
but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.”
Another poem was “Little By Little”, thus:
“Little by little,” said a thoughtful boy,“Moment by moment, I’ll well employ, Learning a little every day, And not spending all my time in play. And still this rule in my mind shall dwell, Whatever I do, I will do it well. “Little by little, I’ll learn to know The treasured wisdom of long ago; And one of these days, perhaps, we’ll see That the world will be the better for me”; And do you not think that this simple plan Made him a wise and useful man?
* (C) Anonymous
As a child, I felt really offended whenever my Father mandated me to recite these poems and other wise sayings as they mostly referred to boys and men. I always wondered: how about poems and wise words for girls and women? It occurred to me that these poems and wise sayings were written by males and I concluded: trust men to be self centered and only talk about themselves! I also realized then that my Father being male, these poems would naturally appeal more, to him.
I recall how as a youth, even as I had always admired lawyers in their way of dressing, demeanor and advocacy, I was always forced to watch drama series and TV programs that dramatized various legal cases or dealt with community disputes and social justice which sometimes included legal issues and courtroom scenes as part of their broader narrative, such as The Assizes, In The Name of The Law, The Village Headmaster, Checkmate, Ripples, Behind the Clouds and Ichoku. My Father practically forced me to study Law, something I am eternally grateful for, as I’d complied. I sometimes wonder what I’d be doing with my life, had I not followed his lead! Had he not been vigilant, I would have submitted a different JAMB Form to the Office in Port Harcourt!
There’s a reason why The Lord made it impossible for a fetus to be created by fertilization without the meeting of only the reproductive cells of both genders. Malachi 2:15 states that God brought man and woman together, because he wants them to raise godly seeds. Besides fertilization, the male just like Adam the first man, is to care for and tend to the garden. The garden represents all that The Lord has put in the hands of the man, also the Father, best of whom are his children.
There’s something that a healthy man brings to the family that no one else can or should do. Children need their Fathers. Daughters especially, need their Fathers. It has been said that if you educate/train a girl/woman, you train a Nation. Nothing can be surer than this truth because an educated/trained girl/woman nurtures the next generation and can pass on only what she knows: you can’t give what you don’t have. This sounds cliché, but it can’t be disputed.
My Father made all the difference in my life and I cannot express enough, my love and respect for him. His input in my life made me be, as he was deliberate in guiding, directing and instructing his children at every needed time. Despite the fact that he was himself, busy most of his younger years, he did not shirk his responsibilities in reprimanding and correcting in love whenever his children acted out of line and even guiding and checking that we correctly completed our homework, when he returned early from work.
My Father ensured that his children attended good schools and achieved an education. In my own case, he saw me through until I qualified as a lawyer after attending the Nigerian Law School, Lagos and even through my year of Service in the National Youth Service Corps. He did not leave me halfway as he was and is still a “Present Father”. He trained me not only in achieving quality education but also in morals and character. I credit my Father for the person I have turned out to be and I am intensely proud of his achievements in my siblings and I .
It is because my Father sent me to school that I did not marry at 18years or younger. For this same reason, I did not have a child until late into my twenties, after getting married. Even then, the experience of mothering and motherhood was still challenging as much as it was exciting! Imagine what it would have been like, if I had married as a child and birthed a child or children. Talk about the case of “a child, still being immature but catering to the needs of another child or children”. This is exactly the reason why poverty seems entrenched in some families as the “Mothering Child” has no opportunity to experience much guidance and training under responsible parents or even achieve an education that should be liberating! Poverty then becomes recurring in different generations and never seems to go away.
Fathers, do not give out your female children into early marriages and by extension, early child bearing and motherhood. They need to be properly mature emotionally, physically and mentally for the responsibilities that come with marriage and parenthood, before they engage in these institutions and services. When your female child attends school, she will be a better wife, mother and financially capable and secure to cater to her needs, that of her children and also take on other dependants.
It was in the Rivers State University of Science and Technology (now Rivers State University) that I met and courted my husband and so, the belief that an educated woman can hardly be married, is untrue. By virtue of the fact that I was afforded an education and now being a parent, having by the grace of God, raised 3 beautiful children, now young adults, I seem to daily appreciate the input my father made and still makes in my life and I now better understand the sacrifices of parenting! This makes me even more appreciative of the parenting I received.
I am eternally grateful for the Father that The Lord has blessed me with. As I celebrate and pray for my earthly Father today, I use this opportunity to pray for and encourage every Father the world over, to give and do the best with what God has put in your hands.
Indeed, it is not always easy and the times are trying. Still, determine to do the best as it lies within your power as it is never too late to start praying for your children’s health, their intellect, their habits and attitudes, the friends they keep, their ambitions and challenges, their future spouse, their children (your grandchildren) and their relationship with The Lord. Prayers are important as parents cannot successfully parent on their own. They need to draw inspiration and strength from God.
Alongside prayers, teach your children the value of working hard with their studies, home chores and otherwise. Let them see challenges as tests to get them to think outside the box and succeed by tasking their brains and minds, thus strengthening their facaulties. Challenges and problem solving can only make them stronger.
Make them realize that they may make mistakes (hopefully not), but they must never stay down. They must pick themselves up and try again and yet again, until they get it right. Best of all, rather than they make personal mistakes, they should learn from the mistakes of others and avoid wasting their time and energy in the process of making corrections or righting wrongs.
Fathers, teach your children the value of kindness and empathy. They should be helpful to others and always give what they can afford, whether of their time, resources, a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Their giving should be selfless, without expectations of reciprocity else, they could be disappointed. Let them show respect for others and especially for themselves as then, they would elicit respect from others. They should stay humble, no matter how high God lifts them and encourage others to be their best. They must remain thankful and grateful to their parents and especially to God for the provisions and the favors that they enjoy.
Teach them to celebrate other people’s successes. Rather than feel envious, they should be inspired and motivated to succeed in their own path and destiny as everyone has theirs and thus, there should be no need for competition. We must all strive to complement each other as God grants us different gifts and talents which, when pulled together, creates complete wholesomeness.
Dear Fathers, no doubt, you may make mistakes and sometimes feel weary, but please don’t give up as the future depends on YOU! Take a detour when you realize that you have made an error. Apologize even, to anyone in your family that you may have hurt as by this, you are setting a good example and being a model for your children who are watching you.
Realize however, that much of this engagement may prove unattainable without a good relationship with your children. You must therefore make your children your best friends as this will allow for excellent communication and thus, cooperation with you. You will be the first to know when things are unusual or going wrong because your “best friends” will inform you. With this awareness, you can arrest any situation before it becomes terribly bad. It will not be easy, but you have what it takes to stay on top of fatherhood. It is for this reason that God made you a Father and a worthy and most deserving one, for that matter. As I celebrate and thank my Father today, I thank you all Fathers, for your efforts in undertaking to raising your children, the hope and future of the world.
May The Lord grant all Fathers, Great Grace, Strength and an Unquenchable Desire and Determination as you tend to His Garden, by raising the Next Generation, Amen. I have always maintained that the best test for successful parenting is that our children turn out better than we the parents, are. It has to keep getting better, down our lineage. That way, we see progress in our families and ultimately, the society. I bless God for “Present Fathers”.
To my Darling Daddy, the Coolest and the Best! I wish you a Happy and Blessed 83rd Birthday. May you experience many more beautiful years in The Lord’s grace and peace, Amen. May your vision and strength be as that of the eagle and may you remain youthful in the eyes of those who love you, in perfect health, with a sharp mind and a merry heart, Amen. I love you more than I can ever find the appropriate words to express! Thank you for your love .
Best wishes and love to you, Daddy and all Fathers,
Eberechi Suzzette Nyesom-Wike.
* The poem “Little by Little” is of 8 paragraphs. The quoted paragraphs are Nos. 7 and 8 thereof. It is curious how a well worded,very long and inspiring poem can be captured but not the name of the poet. This poem is not one from this century. My Grandmother mentioned to me, more than once, that in cases such as this, the poet was a person of color who was not given credit for his or her work. I cannot argue with this position.
