Harken, Corrupt Bearer of Judicial Graft and Boodle
1.
Ambitious litigant,
Bearer of judicial graft and boodle…
Do not keep my bribe in the glare of my chambers
Or my pitch-white immaculate mansion,
Now stinking of anti-graft suspicion.
Keep it in the depth of the hole with the viper,
In the dungeon of the snake-headed Gordon.
My capacious water tank
My well laundered backyard
My lucre-consuming septic tank
Can all not escape the scrutiny of Argus Panoptes
Whose sleepless eyes often haunt my dreams.
2.
Ambitious litigant,
Bearer of judicial graft and boodle…
Do not keep my bribe in the sanctum of my attic
Or my termite-threatened lofty roof
Whose days are numbered like the exploits in my office.
Keep it in the Cave of the Seven Sleepers—Ashabul Kahf,
And let it take its course for 300 years.
My conjured walls that have encapsulated my ill-gotten bounty
My precious paramours that have hidden my swelling county
My maidservants that have held for me to save our unity,
Can all not escape the scrutiny of Argus Panoptes
Whose sleepless eyes often haunt my dreams.
3.
Ambitious litigant,
Bearer of judicial graft and boodle…
Do not keep my bribe in some poverty-stricken village
Or the valley behind seven mountains
Whose depth is too shallow to swallow my wanton kickbacks.
Keep it with Hades in the bottom of the flame
Or in the fiery mouth of Olukoso Obakoso.*
My bankers’ bill counter’s fastness
My bankers’ bosses’ degree and pedigree
My bankers’ steadfastness and willingness to shield numbers
Can all not escape the scrutiny of Argus Panoptes
Whose sleepless eyes often haunt my dreams.
My most ambitious litigant,
Corrupt bearer of judicial graft and boodle
Buyer of the Bench and the conniving Bar
Fellow contributor to our sinking Themis—
Please give ear and hearken.
- Bolaji St.Ramos
28/10/2016
* The god of thunder in Yoruba mythology who had the ability to expectorate fire.
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